I remember the first time I saw her, she had long blondish relaxed hair and shaped like a Pepsi bottle.Lamar invited me to dine with him at Pizza Hut and so I accepted. Little did I know , upon reaching I saw our mutual friend Matt and her sitting at the same table with Lamar. I got nervous and confused while thinking to myself ”I thought it was a dinner between the two of us”.
An hour passed since we ate and chatted for the remainder of our time there, thankfully for the conversation Matt and Lamar had the weirdness between she and I didn’t grow. He played with her glasses, they laughed hard and even interlocked arms as we left the pizza joint, even walked ahead of us at one point and a million questions ran through my mind, “who is she? Are they together? He didn’t tell me they were dating?”.
Now mind you, Lamar and I weren’t dating at that time, I just liked him and so did he! Later on that night we spoke and he told me that they were best friends for years and that they loved each other but their relationship was of a brother and sister. However, for me! That’s not what I saw.
I panicked, questioned myself and as the days rolled by with her she seemed like a really cool girl. I liked her and wanted to be her friend as well, despite all that I really didn’t want to look like a poppy show. I was still suspicious of how *ahem* close they were. Later in time, Lamar and I were together but every time they were around each other I got really suspicious. They always laughed and played a lot, told jokes, spoke like there was no tomorrow and even cursed like old couples. On top of all of that – did I tell you she was a really good looking gal, shaped nicely and had a cool personality.
Fast forward to a few years,she and I became great friends and she was in my bridal party a few years later. We were all so comfortable with each other that we did the simple things as to burp in front of each or playfully fart on each other. That’s how we were. Till one day she told Lamar and I that she liked a guy by the name of Christopher ! As she continued sharing the details of how he looked and his character but all that was running through my head was that she was looking for “my husband”. I saw Lamar’s face and he looked quite interested and he jokingly said “he sounds conceited ”.She said “yeah,he is very cocky and thinks that because he has good hair he is all of that”. I then said,is he Irish or Indian?”. She replies saying he is mixed Indian and I said okay,cool. I excused myself from our conversation when I heard Lamar say “ do you think he will be okay with our friendship if he saw us?. Few hours after she left I was convinced she wanted Lamar and so she found someone that was similar to him physically. That,worried me a lot. I spoke to Lamar about it, telling him that his friend actually wants him and he couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of my mouth! I believed I was convinced tho and so tried showing him the signs and he said ” For the umpteenth time we are just friends!”. I wasn’t satisfied but knew deep down I was panicking. Things were back to normal after our squabble, I decided to drop it because nothing good came of it. If its one thing I know is that I trusted my husband.
Question is,is there such a thing as a platonic relationship between a man and a woman?! The answer is YES. I firmly believe that a man and woman can have a platonic friendship even if they happen to find each other attractive. Do I think it can be nerve wrecking to be dating your girl and have a female bestie as well? MOST DEFINITELY. It can happen but it sure takes time, awesome communication and honesty. For Lamar and I, our relationship has grown to be built on these things especially in regards to his best friend. She and I grew to be best of friends, she continued sleeping over, we all baked together,sang silly songs, went out together-people even believed she was Lamar’s extra girl but I didn’t care at all. I grew to love her as much as my husband did and in some way we felt like a family and we enjoyed it. For me, it took a long time to get comfortable and really secure within myself as a woman and a person but I learned a lot and those life lessons are very valuable to me,
Most women nowadays have no respect for you and your spouse regardless of being a best friend or a chick who just wants to sleep with him. So we can all agree that it allows us to quickly shun the idea of even being comfortable with your spouse’s girl bestie but with honest communication I can’t see why it’s not possible.