Uncategorized

Speak Up,Speak Out

imageThere is a thin line between professionalism and sexuality in any Work Industry . So should we turn a blind eye to problem or should we address them. The million dollar question is – should it matter if we are talking about heterosexuals or homosexuals?
Let me just say that I am not discriminating Homosexuality OR ignoring that this abuse happens among heterosexuals as well OR saying that one size fits all. I am simply trying to shine the light on the dark area that goes on in our Schools and other Work Industry’s .
I believe in the safety of everyone despite your sexual orientation and the right to accept or decline offers that people  may get on a daily basis due to their orientation and how physically attractive they are. However,I do believe that abuse is abuse. So what do we do?! Protect our people right .
As a parent or guardian,when you send your kids to school you are entrusting in your children’s teachers and principals that your kids is in good care! You sent them to school so that they can learn and socialize for a bright future .Not abused into giving sexual favors. Sadly,it happens to our kids,brother’s,sister’,aunt’s or whomever else too often.
As humans  we are not thinking about the traumas that stem from these horrible situations and that these victims wether boy or girl,man or woman be-stolen of their bright future,intellect and happiness when they put so much effort into attaining their goals just for that not to be the KEY to success but for sexual favors to seemingly prevail just to get the grades they deserve or the Title they work so hard for.
I fervently urge the public,caring friends and parents to do your part and to follow your instincts on any suspicion that you may have  and to boldly take steps to come forth or speak up on any sad issues or abuse that is going on. To remind yourself you are simply helping someone and giving them the opportunity  for the wonderful talent’s and intellect they possess that is constantly robbed from them.

 

Special thanks to Lamardo,my doting husband and our friend The Jamaican Airman (Brad-Lee) for motivating me to resume Blogging. I really do appreciate the support from you both!!
Mai Chris

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Lifestyle

Is it Bad Being Attracted To Bad??!

There’s a misconception that tends to be imposed on persons who are born into the Upper, Middle and Lower class throughout their life known as stereotypes.

Once a person is born into the Hood or Ghetto its assumed that they’re irresponsible, gang members, absentee parents, drug abusers, men and women beaters! Oh yes, don’t be surprised! There are lots of men beaters around the world. Last but not least the infamous misapprehension that men from the inner communities don’t care about their women’s feelings. Through the eyes of people, they’re called Baddies! Yet, their spouses see them as being attractive, alluring and street smart irrespective of the stereotypes being true or not.

The real question and topic of this blog is ”Is it Bad Being Attracted To Bad ”. There’s an old-time saying that’s absolutely true and it goes like this ” If The Shoe Fits Then Let Them Wear It”. Which simply acknowledges that yes being a lower class citizen is hard and they’re persons who sadly fit due to unreasonable favors but they’re others who are born into the same situation but are mentally and emotionally opposites of that.

Like my loving bestie who’s nothing like what’s falsely believed with the “One Size Fits All” Baddie personality. She believed she fell in love a Baddie for all the right reasons.

From my best friends view, being born and raised in the ghetto is hard – mentally and emotionally he says. They’re temptations after every turndown. Not to mention having to go through countless deaths of friends or family members due to turf wars or being at the wrong place at the wrong time.

It’s hard having a pre-determined life for you ever since you were a baby and when you chose not to follow in those footsteps life gets even harder for you. It puts you in a state of emotional turmoil that’s leads you to make harsh decisions between life and death. Like selling or abusing your body and drugs just to put food on the table. Or young boys being forced and reluctantly engaging in gang violence ordered by the big Don. Whatever decisions you make is always meant to either break or make you for the future! For men who are different and others like him, J Cole sang very important lines from his new song dubbed ”1985” that most Baddies aspire to bring to past and it goes like this ” 1985, I arrived/33 years/ damn /I am grateful I survived/ We weren’t s’posed to get past 25/ jokes on you /we alive”. For most ”Baddies” this is their anthem , their motto that they live by on a day to day basis. Most men and women in the inner communities aspire to be great entrepreneurs, present fathers or mothers because they know the damage it costs not being there. So they struggle and work smart to provide better lives for them and their family the best way they know how. They know and appreciate the value of life, time, relationships and quality, the value of creating plan’s and food that we most middle and upper-class citizens tend to waste on a day to day basis. I’m not just talking about food either. They know how to bargain for the prices and know neat tricks and tips on how to make your lives easier than wasting time and money that could be saved. They tend to be some of the sharpest people’s on the street, nothing gets past them because they’re aware of the games that people, society, and the system plays with each other daily. So it’s hard for them to be aloof or naive by the glittery things in life. These Baddies tend to be open-minded, possess the ability to be assertive and driven for their successes in life.

Whereas, we middle and upper class citizens tend to take advantage of time, food, learning and appreciating the value of treats and dimes that are handed to us on a silver platter. I’m not saying we all can’t attain treasures being passed to us from our family members. The gift that comes with being assertive,working for what we want and determined for greatness gets lost in the clouds because we are so use to being fed with inside connections and wealth.

I believe that there is beauty in the struggle and that’s what makes some Baddies attractive and alluring but I also believe that learning from each other can be the best of both worlds.

Writer,

Maaya Christopher

Health, life

Poor Quality Care to Mothers and Fathers within Jamaica’s Public Hospitals

Going through labor and delivery oftentimes puts us parents through a whirlwind of emotions-especially when we are in labor. So how are you able to go through a beautiful yet scary experience if doctors and nurses ill treat you because of your status!

For years ,mothers,fathers and relatives who have witnessed or were victims of these horrendous actions have spoken about it and even reported these abuse. Due to these neglects, serious life threats became results that occurred on a daily basis. Tragic results that can always be prevented.

What is the purpose of having free health services if maternal care is poor?

The reality is that everyone needs and deserves equal health rights but quality care trumps free health care anyday. International Journey of Woman’s Health published an article that was written by Cynthia Pearl Pier,Sandra Latibeaudiere, Tania Rae and Lorna Owens titled Disrespectful Maternity Care: A Threat to the Maternal Health 2030 Agenda in Jamaica”. It is believed that interpersonal care should not be disrespectful and abusive to women before, during and after child birth. This is unacceptable and a violation of their basic human rights.

According to The World Health Organization it has been declared that every woman has the right to the highest attainable standard of health which includes the right to dignified, respectful Healthcare. How do we women and men in the heat of the moment stand out and defend ourselves at the hands of the people who are responsible for delivering our babies. How do we brush the fears away of doctors or nurses spiting us for our basic human rights ! It sounds ridiculous right,but it happens so how do we address it.

Studies show that having a positive,encouraging and upbeat nurse or doctor at the time of birth is critical towards the overall delivery of quality maternity care. With such support a woman can feel empowered however if they’re are terribly ill treated then it results with them having lasting emotional trauma. Lack of respectful care during labor and childbirth indicates poor quality.

Unfortunately in these horrid situations,death has claimed the lives of many women due to hemorrhage. This happens due to being neglected after having a bad tear-so they end up bleeding to death. In other horrific cases, babies die as well due to unfit care that happens in hospitals like Jubilee. Not only are you forced to walk yourself to the labor room but you are left in the room with others unattended. So they (babies) end up dying due to the stress and infection from the contractions and meconium being passed through and ingested by the baby. With cases like these the babies develop a serious infection which later results in death or a still birth.

In order for us to improve maternal and neonatal death in Jamaica we have to tackle these obstacles that plagues our public hospitals first!

Writer,

Maaya Christopher

life, Romance

My Husbands Girlfriend !!

I remember the first time I saw her, she had long blondish relaxed hair and shaped like a Pepsi bottle.Lamar invited me to dine with him at Pizza Hut and so I accepted. Little did I know , upon reaching I saw our mutual friend Matt and her sitting at the same table with Lamar. I got nervous and confused while thinking to myself ”I thought it was a dinner between the two of us”.

An hour passed since we ate and chatted for the remainder of our time there, thankfully for the conversation Matt and Lamar had the weirdness between she and I didn’t grow. He played with her glasses, they laughed hard and even interlocked arms as we left the pizza joint, even walked ahead of us at one point and a million questions ran through my mind, “who is she? Are they together? He didn’t tell me they were dating?”.

Now mind you, Lamar and I weren’t dating at that time, I just liked him and so did he! Later on that night we spoke and he told me that they were best friends for years and that they loved each other but their relationship was of a brother and sister. However, for me! That’s not what I saw.

I panicked, questioned myself and as the days rolled by with her she seemed like a really cool girl. I liked her and wanted to be her friend as well, despite all that I really didn’t want to look like a poppy show. I was still suspicious of how *ahem* close they were. Later in time, Lamar and I were together but every time they were around each other I got really suspicious. They always laughed and played a lot, told jokes, spoke like there was no tomorrow and even cursed like old couples. On top of all of that – did I tell you she was a really good looking gal, shaped nicely and had a cool personality.

Fast forward to a few years,she and I became great friends and she was in my bridal party a few years later. We were all so comfortable with each other that we did the simple things as to burp in front of each or playfully fart on each other. That’s how we were. Till one day she told Lamar and I that she liked a guy by the name of Christopher ! As she continued sharing the details of how he looked and his character but all that was running through my head was that she was looking for “my husband”. I saw Lamar’s face and he looked quite interested and he jokingly said “he sounds conceited ”.She said “yeah,he is very cocky and thinks that because he has good hair he is all of that”. I then said,is he Irish or Indian?”. She replies saying he is mixed Indian and I said okay,cool. I excused myself from our conversation when I heard Lamar say “ do you think he will be okay with our friendship if he saw us?. Few hours after she left I was convinced she wanted Lamar and so she found someone that was similar to him physically. That,worried me a lot. I spoke to Lamar about it, telling him that his friend actually wants him and he couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of my mouth! I believed I was convinced tho and so tried showing him the signs and he said ” For the umpteenth time we are just friends!”. I wasn’t satisfied but knew deep down I was panicking. Things were back to normal after our squabble, I decided to drop it because nothing good came of it. If its one thing I know is that I trusted my husband.

Question is,is there such a thing as a platonic relationship between a man and a woman?! The answer is YES. I firmly believe that a man and woman can have a platonic friendship even if they happen to find each other attractive. Do I think it can be nerve wrecking to be dating your girl and have a female bestie as well? MOST DEFINITELY. It can happen but it sure takes time, awesome communication and honesty. For Lamar and I, our relationship has grown to be built on these things especially in regards to his best friend. She and I grew to be best of friends, she continued sleeping over, we all baked together,sang silly songs, went out together-people even believed she was Lamar’s extra girl but I didn’t care at all. I grew to love her as much as my husband did and in some way we felt like a family and we enjoyed it. For me, it took a long time to get comfortable and really secure within myself as a woman and a person but I learned a lot and those life lessons are very valuable to me,

Most women nowadays have no respect for you and your spouse regardless of being a best friend or a chick who just wants to sleep with him. So we can all agree that it allows us to quickly shun the idea of even being comfortable with your spouse’s girl bestie but with honest communication I can’t see why it’s not possible.

Writer,

Maaya Christopher

life, Movie review

Black Panther.

Black Panther does a number of things and introduces a lot of idea’s that requires you to think in ways you may not have thought before.

As we look at Wakanda beyond its physical attributes and as a population with an intense culture saturated with African music, dancing, dressing, etc. It really teases you into imagining what our black/African culture would be like today had we been allowed to blossom since the beginning of times. What if our ancestors never had to go through slavery, colonialism and subjugation. What if there were no impediments to our growth as a people? The possibilities seem endless to say the least and the director of the film Ryan Coogler realizes that and admits us into the world of Wakanda where our Africans embraced their culture and style of life wholeheartedly.

In the movie, we are fed a mouthful of what Black empowerment looks like overall, what is it to have our mother country be ahead of the game. How tall and proud our men and women stand embracing and appreciating the features that God himself made us in his own image. Our kinky, curly hair made of wool, smooth, glistening colored skin, the brains of a victor and the consistency of a body that is made to be human! Wakanda is heaven!

He encourages our women how beautiful and strong mentally, physically and emotionally they were. He didn’t dare to objectify them sexually, but conveyed a message to our women stating that you don’t have to dress skimpily or want certain European features to be classified as being beautiful. As they frequently do in the media. The designer did a very amazing job on how she dressed Shuri, Nakia and Okoye well and their hair do ’s was worn well. He even showed us that they were more than trophy wives and women, but also a warrior spirited at heart. Shuri was very much knowledgeable in technology, whereas Okoye was a ride or die warrior woman and Nakia actively helped other persons who have been oppressed outside of Wakanda.

In Wakanda, the people were left to take part in their own holidays, ritualistic events. Planted their own food and ran their own businesses without being terrorized by other races. Honestly, Ryan left us with no other option but to dream and want so badly for our people in today’s society. Which brings us to think wether Eric Killmonger’s plan was worth a shot! Imagine if we had Africa as Wakanda who opened an Outreach Program just as the Black Panther Party did back in the day. The Black Panther party reached out to other countries inclusive of other African territories for help in order to stop the physical, emotional and economic oppression of our black people.

I do pray and hope there is a Black Panther sequel because I am ready for us to take our movements to another level to prove to ourselves just how great we are and how successful we can be like Wakanda.

Writer, Maaya Christopher

Content Provider, Lamardo Christopher

We make a great team,thank you for your help. Your amazing.

Uncategorized

Morals VS Society

"BEAUTY"

It seems to me that some people no longer have respect for themselves, their bodies or other people. Why do I say this?  For a number of different reasons.  For example, let’s look at the crude gestures people make to others as a form of insult.  If you don’t believe me, drive in certain areas of the city or on our roads during peak hours; try to obey the traffic sign and rules of the road or to be courteous to others and I promise you, you’ll hear and see the crudest of gestures and words spoken to you.  Don’t mention if you are a woman.  Then it takes on another dimension altogether.

 

Then there is the matter of our customer service.  If those who serve in restaurants, hospitals, supermarkets and other business establishments truly respected themselves, then they would take the time to treat others as they would…

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Health, life

Morals VS Society

It seems to me that some people no longer have respect for themselves, their bodies or other people. Why do I say this?  For a number of different reasons.  For example, let’s look at the crude gestures people make to others as a form of insult.  If you don’t believe me, drive in certain areas of the city or on our roads during peak hours; try to obey the traffic sign and rules of the road or to be courteous to others and I promise you, you’ll hear and see the crudest of gestures and words spoken to you.  Don’t mention if you are a woman.  Then it takes on another dimension altogether.

 

Then there is the matter of our customer service.  If those who serve in restaurants, hospitals, supermarkets and other business establishments truly respected themselves, then they would take the time to treat others as they would wish to be treated themselves.  Instead there is little effort to assist customers and worse if they believe you are poor or live in below Cross Roads, ‘dog nyam yuh suppa’.  Come on, don’t let an address determine how you treat people; we all deserve the best of treatment.  Money is not all, no matter how little or much you make.

 

Somehow it seems to me that generally people have lost the air of good manners and sophistication. Believe me, this is not just about clothes and how you wear them;   this is about behaviour.  For instance, there are people walking into an interview chewing gum and not giving a care as to whether or not they are dressed appropriately.  Some ladies wear dresses that are so tight, nothing is left to the imagination.  Some men come in with clothes better suited for a party rather than a job seeking opportunity. Now some may say they are wearing what they have and should be left to do so.  I say that simple is better.  A simple shirt, skirt and pants is better than flashy clothes.

 

We see less than civilized behaviour as well in our sexual practices. What can make a man look at a girl who is much younger than her, even a child and sexually touch her?  What can make women and men betray the trust of the innocent as they seek their own pleasure, uncaring of others and showing the worse form of disrespect to a human? Yet it happens.  I remember wanting to audition for a music video as a dancer but in order for me to be selected I was asked to do sexual favors with this said artiste.  I could not have been any prouder today, than when I made the decision to say ‘no’.  Even in the workplace, staff members and students are often victims of forced sexual encounters which they do not invite.  Stop the disrespect and damage that comes from these actions.  

 

Once upon a time, music was beautifully made with creative verses that captivated and serenaded people in a positive way. If it was a sad song it was sung and written melodiously. If it were sexual, it was sung in such a way that didn’t disrespect the body of a man or woman and the images weren’t displayed in a vulgar light. Nowadays, you can see women and men degrading themselves in many ways in these music videos.  It’s not just the music, it is an assault on the senses.

 

The other side of the story is also those men and women looking for someone to pay the bills in exchange for sexual favours.  Don’t sell yourself short for material things.  If you can’t find the means of getting the things you need or want, you should first evaluate how important these things are Are they building your status quo or are they necessary for building yourself a better future?  Then work hard and honestly to achieve your goals.  It may take longer but to know you did it honestly and respectfully makes all the difference at the end of the day.

 

Respect.

Maaya Christopher

life

Gender Roles and Household Chores!

 

It can generally be seen where there is a belief in society that people should only do certain jobs on the basis of their gender. These stereotypes and expectations were upheld by many of our ancestors and older people and were largely shaped by traditions and beliefs. Thankfully, these views are changing among our people.

In Jamaica like elsewhere, the stereotype exist with household chores; for example, there is a belief that men should not wash the dishes, go grocery shopping or do the laundry; heaven forbid them washing their women’s delicates.

Why, you may ask? Simply because it has been ingrained (culturally) through our music and artists who sang songs talking about not washing their woman’s underwear. So the point I’m making here is that nothing is wrong if 1) a man chooses to do laundry for himself, his woman or family and 2) if he ever decided to wash his woman’s delicates or pick up a pack of sanitary pads for her that should be totally fine.
Similarly, if a door is off its hinges, the sink in the bathroom needs to be fixed or the car engine is not working and your woman knows how to fix these things then that shouldn’t be a problem either.

I do, however, believe that it is a beautiful thing for our children to see both genders doing any household or yard chore that needs to be done without giving thought to whether it’s a man or woman doing them.
There are benefits to be gained from this shift away from gender based chores. It saves time – anyone finding it convenient to complete the chore should just do it. It also helps to promote positivity and more bonding time between the couple and the rest of the family. The family works as a team and has more time for relaxation and fun

In our household, my husband is a man of no boundaries! I believe that his mom grew him in such a way that he can cook, clean and take care of his business. I must say she did a very good job of that.

For me, ever since I was a little girl I loved turning my bicycle upside down to oil the chains and pump the tires. I loved fixing things and so a hammer was my best friend. I always enjoyed going out in the mornings to clean up the dog’s poop and wash out their kennels but as I got older my father didn’t want me doing it anymore and eventually he asked my brother to take over. Yes, I was hurt because it was something that I liked doing; even now I still do it occasionally.

I conclude by saying that times are changing and so should we. Let us not restrict ourselves when it comes to household and yard chores because it is not manly for a man to do this or it’s not ladylike. I do believe that we should focus on our strengths and not our weaknesses and learn as much as we can from each other. After all, there is more than one way to skin a cat.