Uncategorized

Speak Up,Speak Out

imageThere is a thin line between professionalism and sexuality in any Work Industry . So should we turn a blind eye to problem or should we address them. The million dollar question is – should it matter if we are talking about heterosexuals or homosexuals?
Let me just say that I am not discriminating Homosexuality OR ignoring that this abuse happens among heterosexuals as well OR saying that one size fits all. I am simply trying to shine the light on the dark area that goes on in our Schools and other Work Industry’s .
I believe in the safety of everyone despite your sexual orientation and the right to accept or decline offers that people  may get on a daily basis due to their orientation and how physically attractive they are. However,I do believe that abuse is abuse. So what do we do?! Protect our people right .
As a parent or guardian,when you send your kids to school you are entrusting in your children’s teachers and principals that your kids is in good care! You sent them to school so that they can learn and socialize for a bright future .Not abused into giving sexual favors. Sadly,it happens to our kids,brother’s,sister’,aunt’s or whomever else too often.
As humans  we are not thinking about the traumas that stem from these horrible situations and that these victims wether boy or girl,man or woman be-stolen of their bright future,intellect and happiness when they put so much effort into attaining their goals just for that not to be the KEY to success but for sexual favors to seemingly prevail just to get the grades they deserve or the Title they work so hard for.
I fervently urge the public,caring friends and parents to do your part and to follow your instincts on any suspicion that you may have  and to boldly take steps to come forth or speak up on any sad issues or abuse that is going on. To remind yourself you are simply helping someone and giving them the opportunity  for the wonderful talent’s and intellect they possess that is constantly robbed from them.

 

Special thanks to Lamardo,my doting husband and our friend The Jamaican Airman (Brad-Lee) for motivating me to resume Blogging. I really do appreciate the support from you both!!
Mai Chris

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family, Health, Lifestyle, Uncategorized

Sexism Towards Fatherhood

dixon1
Since becoming a father I have had many experiences; most of which have become memories I wouldn’t trade for anything. It is true that men aren’t as active or as present in the lived of their children which has lead to much stigma. I haven’t experienced much in the way stigma or sexism, but I have received many praises for the relationship I have with my daughter. It is typical though that fathers aren’t given paternity leave which would have been great,  but I believe we as a country will get there.  Not withstanding this fact in my job as a civil servant I am able to take a day from work here and there which helped to make things easier in taking care of my family. I must also say away with the notion that a man can’t do what a woman does as far as taking care of a child goes. We may not be the best at styling our daughters hair, but  that doesn’t stop us from being their for them, as active and positive examples. All in all my experience with sexism towards fathers has been minimal and most instances I’m actually applauded for my role.
Avril Dixon
family, Health, Lifestyle

Life of Fatherhood and Sexism

Being a father has always been a beautiful blessing to me and my family. I often times dreamed of all the wonderful things Ii would of been able to share with my son’s and daughter’s in the future. Now that my wife and I have him in our lives we can’t imagine life without him.

However,sadly even before he was born I experienced sexism towards fatherhood. You see,ever since my wife was pregnant I would accompany her to every one of her doctor visits..apparently, this was news flash or surprising to most of the doctors,nurses and pregnant mother’s there. The same thing happened after our son was born. We make it tradition to take a sunday stroll with my family and I had person’s looking at me astonishingly. Only a few persons would come to me to praise me on being a great father through my actions, but why wouldnt I be. My mother raised a respectable,responsible man and not only that. I love and would do anything for my son. I treasure him a lot. So yes I do experience a moderate amount of sexism since I have become a father but it hasnt phased me and will never phase me. Fatherhood is in my blood and i will forever always be true to myself,our son and my family.

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family, Health, Lifestyle

Sexism Towards Fatherhood

Father’s play a vital role in parenthood. They are central to the emotional and mental well-being of their children. Their role is especially valuable as disciplinarians and caretakers. Sadly however, nowadays the word ‘parenthood’ means ‘mom’ and the word ‘dad’ has faded or disappeared.

They are some fathers who aren’t happy with this situation and I must admit that they are right. These fathers claim to feel isolated. They say that the notion that most dads are deadbeat and neglectful is a misconception. One size doesn’t fit all. They also believe that there are some situations in which they are given a bad name because of ugly breakups with the mother of their children. This however, they believe should not stop them from being as good a father as they can be to their children.

Are these fathers right? Is there sexism towards them? Are they treated differently as parents just because they are males? After some investigations, it didn’t take me long to agree with them that some women and society in general treated them with sexism. Let’s examine the evidence.

Firstly, let’s look at the treatment of fathers at the Victoria Jubilee Hospital, the major maternity hospital in Jamaica and the Caribbean. At this hospital, fathers are not allowed to support their spouse or share the beautiful moments of seeing a new life enter this world. I, for one find this incredibly distressing and sexist especially since the Victoria Jubilee Hospital is a public hospital providing care for low-income persons.

A few fathers have told me that in some public restrooms, including those attached to business places, there are no diaper changing areas for them to use for their little ones. What kind of message are these private and public establishment sending us? How should fathers feel about this? Can we conclude that they are not father-friendly? What a shame!

While walking through the aisles of supermarkets or stores you never see ‘Father and me’ but ‘Mother and me’. I strongly suggest that they change this to Parents and Me, which is a less sexist position.

I remember a friend at one time telling me that Baby showers are a celebration for mothers and babies, not fathers. That infuriated me because I do believe that since it takes a woman and a man to make a baby, occasions like baby showers should also celebrate fathers and babies. Why not include fathers?

Last but not least, I believe this example is the worst of all. I recently discovered that in Jamaica in order to adopt a child you need to be a family unit or a single mother to do so. Single fathers are not allowed to adopt. I find this to be highly discriminative and sexist towards men all over.

God knew what he was doing when he made man and woman to be parents to our beautiful children. He knew that it is important and helpful for children to have both parents actively involved. Sometimes things may not always go according to plan and the result is a single parent household. It’s imperative in those cases to maintain a level of communication and respect for the sake of our kids.
Fathers are a true blessing to their children and family. Having a great father can make all the difference and increase the likelihood of a child contributing positively to society and their own family. Let’s stomp out sexism towards fathers once and for all.

 

Lifestyle

Is it Bad Being Attracted To Bad??!

There’s a misconception that tends to be imposed on persons who are born into the Upper, Middle and Lower class throughout their life known as stereotypes.

Once a person is born into the Hood or Ghetto its assumed that they’re irresponsible, gang members, absentee parents, drug abusers, men and women beaters! Oh yes, don’t be surprised! There are lots of men beaters around the world. Last but not least the infamous misapprehension that men from the inner communities don’t care about their women’s feelings. Through the eyes of people, they’re called Baddies! Yet, their spouses see them as being attractive, alluring and street smart irrespective of the stereotypes being true or not.

The real question and topic of this blog is ”Is it Bad Being Attracted To Bad ”. There’s an old-time saying that’s absolutely true and it goes like this ” If The Shoe Fits Then Let Them Wear It”. Which simply acknowledges that yes being a lower class citizen is hard and they’re persons who sadly fit due to unreasonable favors but they’re others who are born into the same situation but are mentally and emotionally opposites of that.

Like my loving bestie who’s nothing like what’s falsely believed with the “One Size Fits All” Baddie personality. She believed she fell in love a Baddie for all the right reasons.

From my best friends view, being born and raised in the ghetto is hard – mentally and emotionally he says. They’re temptations after every turndown. Not to mention having to go through countless deaths of friends or family members due to turf wars or being at the wrong place at the wrong time.

It’s hard having a pre-determined life for you ever since you were a baby and when you chose not to follow in those footsteps life gets even harder for you. It puts you in a state of emotional turmoil that’s leads you to make harsh decisions between life and death. Like selling or abusing your body and drugs just to put food on the table. Or young boys being forced and reluctantly engaging in gang violence ordered by the big Don. Whatever decisions you make is always meant to either break or make you for the future! For men who are different and others like him, J Cole sang very important lines from his new song dubbed ”1985” that most Baddies aspire to bring to past and it goes like this ” 1985, I arrived/33 years/ damn /I am grateful I survived/ We weren’t s’posed to get past 25/ jokes on you /we alive”. For most ”Baddies” this is their anthem , their motto that they live by on a day to day basis. Most men and women in the inner communities aspire to be great entrepreneurs, present fathers or mothers because they know the damage it costs not being there. So they struggle and work smart to provide better lives for them and their family the best way they know how. They know and appreciate the value of life, time, relationships and quality, the value of creating plan’s and food that we most middle and upper-class citizens tend to waste on a day to day basis. I’m not just talking about food either. They know how to bargain for the prices and know neat tricks and tips on how to make your lives easier than wasting time and money that could be saved. They tend to be some of the sharpest people’s on the street, nothing gets past them because they’re aware of the games that people, society, and the system plays with each other daily. So it’s hard for them to be aloof or naive by the glittery things in life. These Baddies tend to be open-minded, possess the ability to be assertive and driven for their successes in life.

Whereas, we middle and upper class citizens tend to take advantage of time, food, learning and appreciating the value of treats and dimes that are handed to us on a silver platter. I’m not saying we all can’t attain treasures being passed to us from our family members. The gift that comes with being assertive,working for what we want and determined for greatness gets lost in the clouds because we are so use to being fed with inside connections and wealth.

I believe that there is beauty in the struggle and that’s what makes some Baddies attractive and alluring but I also believe that learning from each other can be the best of both worlds.

Writer,

Maaya Christopher

Health, life

Poor Quality Care to Mothers and Fathers within Jamaica’s Public Hospitals

Going through labor and delivery oftentimes puts us parents through a whirlwind of emotions-especially when we are in labor. So how are you able to go through a beautiful yet scary experience if doctors and nurses ill treat you because of your status!

For years ,mothers,fathers and relatives who have witnessed or were victims of these horrendous actions have spoken about it and even reported these abuse. Due to these neglects, serious life threats became results that occurred on a daily basis. Tragic results that can always be prevented.

What is the purpose of having free health services if maternal care is poor?

The reality is that everyone needs and deserves equal health rights but quality care trumps free health care anyday. International Journey of Woman’s Health published an article that was written by Cynthia Pearl Pier,Sandra Latibeaudiere, Tania Rae and Lorna Owens titled Disrespectful Maternity Care: A Threat to the Maternal Health 2030 Agenda in Jamaica”. It is believed that interpersonal care should not be disrespectful and abusive to women before, during and after child birth. This is unacceptable and a violation of their basic human rights.

According to The World Health Organization it has been declared that every woman has the right to the highest attainable standard of health which includes the right to dignified, respectful Healthcare. How do we women and men in the heat of the moment stand out and defend ourselves at the hands of the people who are responsible for delivering our babies. How do we brush the fears away of doctors or nurses spiting us for our basic human rights ! It sounds ridiculous right,but it happens so how do we address it.

Studies show that having a positive,encouraging and upbeat nurse or doctor at the time of birth is critical towards the overall delivery of quality maternity care. With such support a woman can feel empowered however if they’re are terribly ill treated then it results with them having lasting emotional trauma. Lack of respectful care during labor and childbirth indicates poor quality.

Unfortunately in these horrid situations,death has claimed the lives of many women due to hemorrhage. This happens due to being neglected after having a bad tear-so they end up bleeding to death. In other horrific cases, babies die as well due to unfit care that happens in hospitals like Jubilee. Not only are you forced to walk yourself to the labor room but you are left in the room with others unattended. So they (babies) end up dying due to the stress and infection from the contractions and meconium being passed through and ingested by the baby. With cases like these the babies develop a serious infection which later results in death or a still birth.

In order for us to improve maternal and neonatal death in Jamaica we have to tackle these obstacles that plagues our public hospitals first!

Writer,

Maaya Christopher

life, Romance

My Husbands Girlfriend !!

I remember the first time I saw her, she had long blondish relaxed hair and shaped like a Pepsi bottle.Lamar invited me to dine with him at Pizza Hut and so I accepted. Little did I know , upon reaching I saw our mutual friend Matt and her sitting at the same table with Lamar. I got nervous and confused while thinking to myself ”I thought it was a dinner between the two of us”.

An hour passed since we ate and chatted for the remainder of our time there, thankfully for the conversation Matt and Lamar had the weirdness between she and I didn’t grow. He played with her glasses, they laughed hard and even interlocked arms as we left the pizza joint, even walked ahead of us at one point and a million questions ran through my mind, “who is she? Are they together? He didn’t tell me they were dating?”.

Now mind you, Lamar and I weren’t dating at that time, I just liked him and so did he! Later on that night we spoke and he told me that they were best friends for years and that they loved each other but their relationship was of a brother and sister. However, for me! That’s not what I saw.

I panicked, questioned myself and as the days rolled by with her she seemed like a really cool girl. I liked her and wanted to be her friend as well, despite all that I really didn’t want to look like a poppy show. I was still suspicious of how *ahem* close they were. Later in time, Lamar and I were together but every time they were around each other I got really suspicious. They always laughed and played a lot, told jokes, spoke like there was no tomorrow and even cursed like old couples. On top of all of that – did I tell you she was a really good looking gal, shaped nicely and had a cool personality.

Fast forward to a few years,she and I became great friends and she was in my bridal party a few years later. We were all so comfortable with each other that we did the simple things as to burp in front of each or playfully fart on each other. That’s how we were. Till one day she told Lamar and I that she liked a guy by the name of Christopher ! As she continued sharing the details of how he looked and his character but all that was running through my head was that she was looking for “my husband”. I saw Lamar’s face and he looked quite interested and he jokingly said “he sounds conceited ”.She said “yeah,he is very cocky and thinks that because he has good hair he is all of that”. I then said,is he Irish or Indian?”. She replies saying he is mixed Indian and I said okay,cool. I excused myself from our conversation when I heard Lamar say “ do you think he will be okay with our friendship if he saw us?. Few hours after she left I was convinced she wanted Lamar and so she found someone that was similar to him physically. That,worried me a lot. I spoke to Lamar about it, telling him that his friend actually wants him and he couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of my mouth! I believed I was convinced tho and so tried showing him the signs and he said ” For the umpteenth time we are just friends!”. I wasn’t satisfied but knew deep down I was panicking. Things were back to normal after our squabble, I decided to drop it because nothing good came of it. If its one thing I know is that I trusted my husband.

Question is,is there such a thing as a platonic relationship between a man and a woman?! The answer is YES. I firmly believe that a man and woman can have a platonic friendship even if they happen to find each other attractive. Do I think it can be nerve wrecking to be dating your girl and have a female bestie as well? MOST DEFINITELY. It can happen but it sure takes time, awesome communication and honesty. For Lamar and I, our relationship has grown to be built on these things especially in regards to his best friend. She and I grew to be best of friends, she continued sleeping over, we all baked together,sang silly songs, went out together-people even believed she was Lamar’s extra girl but I didn’t care at all. I grew to love her as much as my husband did and in some way we felt like a family and we enjoyed it. For me, it took a long time to get comfortable and really secure within myself as a woman and a person but I learned a lot and those life lessons are very valuable to me,

Most women nowadays have no respect for you and your spouse regardless of being a best friend or a chick who just wants to sleep with him. So we can all agree that it allows us to quickly shun the idea of even being comfortable with your spouse’s girl bestie but with honest communication I can’t see why it’s not possible.

Writer,

Maaya Christopher

life, Movie review

Black Panther.

Black Panther does a number of things and introduces a lot of idea’s that requires you to think in ways you may not have thought before.

As we look at Wakanda beyond its physical attributes and as a population with an intense culture saturated with African music, dancing, dressing, etc. It really teases you into imagining what our black/African culture would be like today had we been allowed to blossom since the beginning of times. What if our ancestors never had to go through slavery, colonialism and subjugation. What if there were no impediments to our growth as a people? The possibilities seem endless to say the least and the director of the film Ryan Coogler realizes that and admits us into the world of Wakanda where our Africans embraced their culture and style of life wholeheartedly.

In the movie, we are fed a mouthful of what Black empowerment looks like overall, what is it to have our mother country be ahead of the game. How tall and proud our men and women stand embracing and appreciating the features that God himself made us in his own image. Our kinky, curly hair made of wool, smooth, glistening colored skin, the brains of a victor and the consistency of a body that is made to be human! Wakanda is heaven!

He encourages our women how beautiful and strong mentally, physically and emotionally they were. He didn’t dare to objectify them sexually, but conveyed a message to our women stating that you don’t have to dress skimpily or want certain European features to be classified as being beautiful. As they frequently do in the media. The designer did a very amazing job on how she dressed Shuri, Nakia and Okoye well and their hair do ’s was worn well. He even showed us that they were more than trophy wives and women, but also a warrior spirited at heart. Shuri was very much knowledgeable in technology, whereas Okoye was a ride or die warrior woman and Nakia actively helped other persons who have been oppressed outside of Wakanda.

In Wakanda, the people were left to take part in their own holidays, ritualistic events. Planted their own food and ran their own businesses without being terrorized by other races. Honestly, Ryan left us with no other option but to dream and want so badly for our people in today’s society. Which brings us to think wether Eric Killmonger’s plan was worth a shot! Imagine if we had Africa as Wakanda who opened an Outreach Program just as the Black Panther Party did back in the day. The Black Panther party reached out to other countries inclusive of other African territories for help in order to stop the physical, emotional and economic oppression of our black people.

I do pray and hope there is a Black Panther sequel because I am ready for us to take our movements to another level to prove to ourselves just how great we are and how successful we can be like Wakanda.

Writer, Maaya Christopher

Content Provider, Lamardo Christopher

We make a great team,thank you for your help. Your amazing.